Saturday, January 7, 2012


So, the thing about P-land is that like anywhere else there are many things that make it uniquely frustrating and obnoxious as fuck. However, UN-like just anywhere there's always things right there to prevent me from possibly feeling upset about it.
No matter what in P-land right when you need it most it's there for you with something awesome. Here's a quick list off the top of my head:

Strippers and hot chocolate
-Enough said

Gigantic delicious $5 burritos in every neighborhood
-You can feasible survive off one of these per day. Beans&rice + ? FTW.
-Bonus points if you find a tamale lady wandering around with a cooler.

Voo Doo Donuts - Just existing in all it's creepy 24 hr neon-ness
-It's comforting like a psychotic friend that never goes to sleep and doesn't have decaf. (AKA everyone I know?)

Whatever material possesion you want sitting on the sidewalk
-Seriously it's like an unofficial free-cycle system that somehow works

Whatever clothing you want for $7 or less
- Good Will and clearance racks at all the department stores- hell yeah.
-Thank you for aiding me in my ever present mission of not acting or looking like a homeless person.

- This is a given but god damn

The predictable
-This weather is AWESOME. One outfit, all the time, all day, all night, no problem.  Would you like a giant cheap nutritionally balance sustainable burrito with that?
Go forth! Wander the streets for 15 hours at a time without fear of it simultaneously having an abomination orgy of a ice/typhoon/heat wave/face rape/poof.

The unexpected
-I guess I'll run out of new places to explore eventually, (and be stuck with all the awesome I already know about) but if I'm out long enough there's always something awesome for that moment that I didn't know about.
Examples forthcoming!:
Oh, random neighborhood guess this is where my favorite hummus is headquartered why yes I will have some free hummus and the best hot chocolate ever. 
Random cafe at 1 AM in the middle of nowhere - why yes random awesome dude thank you for noticing me walk in and secretly making a necklace for me while I have my coffee and somehow still not being creepy.
Why yes awesome book about castles that is exactly what I wanted, cheap, and -get this- ONE I HAD NEVER HEARD OF.
Why yes stone wall in the middle of downtown with an accomplished pointe ballerina dancing on it for no reason on a holiday when the city is practically abandoned.
The nickel arcade, second run movie theaters advertising and screening shit that some countries wouldn't even allow in like it ain't a problem- right next to a kids store, etc. etc. 

And this is really just a glimpse of some of the things I find awesome here -which it oughta be considering the amazing shit tarded pile of bearded tentacle fucking pretentious depressing disgusting hitler fucking a republican goat god damn awful mess with a bird on it that, as is always the way, is also in the mix.
 Amen. I'm going to watch Sgt. Frog.

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