Saturday, April 28, 2012

Good luck me, and everybody else.

I like my job but I dislike having to keep my brain in a space where I can be social five days a week. My train of thought goes something like this: "Oh man! Work? Again? Five days a week? Who does that? Talking to people? Yeah I mean that sounds fun but, I was really just going to think about rocks and draw pictures and compulsively run up hills until I can't speak or do anything but look at you like a total crazy person you know....I guess I'll hold off. Ahem."

Wednesday, April 4, 2012


So I need more trees in my life. BUT I live in the suburbs so instead I'm woken up by someone chainsawing down some more trees outside my window at nine in the god damn morning.
The last time I had this problem I was staying in the girls dormitory at the state fair in SYRACUSE. A place where one would fully expect fucked shit to be going on at all times.
Anyway I'm listening to these uptight motherfuckers chainsawing down the last attempt at privacy between our two houses. Chainsawing some unassuming tree/bush that must have mortally offended them in some way. -AHHH there's nature in my lawn! WTF how did that get there!? Didn't we already pay day laborers to make sure this didn't happen! AHH!! Let's get out the chainsaw!! IMMEDIATELY.-
Suddenly I realize oh my gosh, I actually live here. This is my life, this is actually happening. This isn't just some pretend life, or some kind of test run where next time I WON'T have someone chainsawing outside my window.  This, this is actually where I live. FUUU

Current population density = facepalm

I'm going to find where I can look out and see mostly trees and I will go to there. It better be less than an hour away. Sheesh.


I almost fell out of my chair. Just now.
I'm just sitting here, in a room, by myself...completely still... falling over.
What is wrong with my brain!?

Where'd you get those bruises? 
Oh you know, sitting.
Yeah, it went horribly wrong and I ended up getting hit by my chair. Don't worry about it.

Monday, March 5, 2012


It was spring time today. Like the first warm bright ridiculous day of the year. Woah.
I don't understand why people buy the things in Ikea when they already have it set up in the store, for free. It's much cheaper to just go hang out in there. Also unlike home they ALWAYS have fro-yo. And it is delicious. Creepy (greater than or equal to) delicious.
I'm doing an air humping dance right now.
I went to work pretty late in the day so I had way too much time to get riled up beforehand.
I am not wearing pants.
I should go to work...
I should run ten blocks and get Mexican food!
I feel great!
I don't think this outfit meets work dress code.
I'm at work!
I cleaned everything!
I made a really good post work cappuccino!
I told everyone about it!
I told everyone about it even though no one cares!
Running is faster than walking and therefore superior!
I'm going to the goth club!
I'm staring at everyone! MERCILLESLY.
I'm distracted now and just staring at scaffolding and bridges.
I want to shave off everyones mustache!
I'm texting people on the east coast to try and get them on board with this spring time action, even though it's actully snowing there...and four in the morning! Fail!
I'm going to hump the air some more!

Brain Candy

Maybe I can switch modes now? I am a robot designed for survival!
I have a job, and a house.
We finished moving.
We have toothpaste and real utensils not made of compostable plastic. Maybe now I can live my life.
I'll like, do stuff. Sometimes I work. Some days it's dark. I work alon- ahem. . .
I'll do things, and sometimes go to work, and then immediately get back to doing things instead of making sure I know where to buy stamps. This could be exciting.