Friday, October 28, 2011

What about this!?

I went to the west side today (where the city part is) to see what was going on.
I found a physical version of my favorite art supply website, who knew.
Jen and I wandered around while I exclaimed about everything.
Also yelling as we walked by every building "Jen! Maybe we should get a place THERE".
Then I tried to convince Jen to sneak into the opera until we got kicked out like riff raff.
There was no opera happening tonight though, so I ended up going to Safeway and carrying a giant frozen pizza and my new roll of artist paper home on the bus.
The pizza box I was hugging kept getting crumpled and trying to open on the bus.
I also listened to some people commiserate about social services and single parenting.
Maybe THIS is what being in a city is like.

                           (The pizza is cut in half because it wouldn't fit in our tiny oven.)


Sorry Portland

I hate biking here.
I will have none of it.

Maybe this?

Where's the nearest electronics store?
12 minutes north? Cool.
I guess I'll dress up, drive Jen's sporty car, and listen to Lady Gaga, you know, like a city person?
Looks like I'm here.
Woah, there's the Ikea.
AND an international airport.
AND the biggest fucking Best Buy I've ever seen.
OK international airport Ikea Best buy super mall, I'll just act normal.
Wandering around, this sure is a giant Best Buy.
Good thing there's this endless stream of knowledgeable hot guys here to help.
Cool, got what I needed without having to mail order.
Guess I'll drive home.
Maybe this is what city people do??

What do people do in cities?

I don't know!
Could be anything!
Maybe they live crazy city lives that don't exist anywhere else!
I gotta go find out.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Because I need to

I will find all the people in this city, and I will steal their secrets.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

I never would have guessed

So, I woke up this morning with my laptop still on me from writing cover letters the night before.
I Immediately resumed being a way too intense job getting person.
At some point I looked up long enough to remember food and showering exist. I proceeded to loudly knock over things in the kitchen, thinking nothing of it until Jen sleepily yells "what- what is going on over there?".

Um, nothin'?

I thought about it for a second and responded - "Actually I guess I'm really dizzy."
That's weird. Am I still that jet lagged? Am I too disoriented from all the things? Have I been too intensely job hunting and staring at computers to remember how to eat without knocking shit over?
While lost in thought Jen interjects "Oh. Are you sure you're not hung over?"
Oh. Right. Maybe that too.

Why is this still in my brain

Honey badger don't give a shiit.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Job Hunting

I feel almost sassy enough to convince someone to give me a job.
Putting some thought into how to come off as sane enough.
Got some good sleep.
Getting my game face ready.
Putting on eye makeup- SYMMETRICALLY.
This will work out.

he looks crazy to me

(i am credible)

-<3 Murder


I Can't Stop Thinking About This


In the words of Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky:


Jet Lag

It is currently sometime between 9 in the morning and 4 in the afternoon, it depends on where I am and I'm not totally sure.

Oregon is weird

So, in Oregon you have to get a "food handlers license" to be around other people's food.
This involves reading a handbook and taking an online test.
I will now quote to you one of the ACTUAL test questions:

"The best way to help an adult who is choking is to grab their shoulders from behind and shake real hard."
(please select true or false)