We finished moving last night

Me: Really? Everything? We've finally moved everything?

Jen: Yeah! Really! Well...Except for the dead cactus.

Me: Oh. Right.

Jen & Me: How are we going to move that without it indiscriminately dropping it's invisible surprisingly painful quills all over everything?

Me: Maybe we should sneak up on it with a box. It'll never see it coming.

Jen: No. I'm prepared to move it with just newspaper.

Me: Woah. 

Jen: I'll cover the car in newspaper, and you can drive it home. Carefully.

Me: Ok, but I'm going to voo doo for some doughnuts first.

Jen: Good. Bring me some.

Ok, Me in the car. Me and cactus... Me and cactus going to get some doughnuts.

Cruising, eating donuts with cactus on a Tuesday night.

Feeling strangely awkward with a cactus in my passenger seat.

*Driving in silence, eating a doughnut*
*Driving in silence, eating a doughnut, nervously staring at the cactus*

...Um...Want some doughnut, cactus?
Yeah, I guess that 's not your thing. I'll just keep driving then.

Oh hey! There's that new restaurant I've been wanting to try! Want to stop and check it out cactus!?

Oh...You're right cactus. We should just go home.

...Sure you don't want some doughnuts?

Get home, hand the cactus back over to Jen. Awkward car time with cactus is now over.

TERRIBLE PICTURE INCOMING:

(I miss you cactus)